Winter Is Over

What huge few months I've just lived through!

Bones are full of cancer, lymph nodes got few new tumors and even my brain's got few tumors!
I had numerous radiotherapy sessions to ease my pain, a brain surgery to remove the biggest tumor at the back of my head - above my neck, and I underwent the 'gamma knife treatment' for other few (4) little tumors in my brain.

Not sure where to start...

The horrid pain I went through I suppose, which made me visit my Radio Oncologist. He appointed me to the Palliative Care team to give me painkillers for short term relief and prescribed numerous sessions of radiotherapy for long term relief.
Both worked well, although I was quite drugged there for a while trying to find the right type and dose of painkillers.
I remember at one instance I was so drugged, I was afraid / paranoid to leave the house or have any contact with outside world. But I felt pain-free and quite happy.... That being 15 years ago, I would have appreciated it. Not at present though.
Radiotherapy was quite smooth sailing, apart from the last part, when they decided to give me a week's dose in an hour, aimed through my stomach to mid spine and made me sicker vomiting than I have ever been in my life before. Back to the hospital I went on the same night, got some extra drugs and felt better.

Thinking about it now, I could describe half of my winter as being on some seriously heavy drugs.
They included steroids as well, which made me hungry and I ate a lot! Still healthy 'raw' type food though, sticking to my new lifestyle.

These days, I allow myself to have a once a month 'whatever you want to eat' day and I usually end up having some lovely lean organic beef. I also let myself have a little bit of (lowest in salt) cheese and quite a lot of dark chocolate (organic raw vegan friendly style).

Next on the list was the brain surgery!
I met up with neurosurgeon to discuss the procedure. I didn't really want to know the details, nor possible complications. All I wanted to find out was what kind of person he is, how his energies are and what music (if any) he listens to while operating. I was very pleased with him, especially after finding out that him and his team are big fans of U2... Being a huge fan myself, I ordered U2 to be on the playlist during my surgery... And no negatives to be spoken.
I was a bit nervous, I must say, but reading Love, Medicine and Miracles by Dr. Bernie Siegel really helped me to stay positive, learn to be an 'exceptional' patient and  fully trust the process and the Universe.
It was the perfect book to be read and I highly recommend it to anyone facing a serious illness or any medical procedures.
I came to the hospital positively charged and 100% ready. I truly did feel like an 'exceptional' patient. Especially after the surgery went so well that I ended up being discharged in 3 days - a day prior to the best possible predicted outcome.
The surgery left me with 21 staples down the back of my head.

Next on the list was the very expensive, new and the only one available in the whole of Australia  'Gamma Knife Treatment'. It is a laser surgery / radiotherapy, without incision, ran by the team of doctors (including Radio Oncologist and Neurosurgeon) and done in a MRI looking machine. It only lasts few hours, no overnight hospital stay, you can play your own music (so I prepared the 'Gamma Knife' playlist on my iPhone), but most importantly, there are no side effects, no hair loss.... The only downside was the steel frame they 'installed' onto my head, which left me with lots of bruising and a very obvious black eye, which hadn't gone away for a couple of weeks.

It's over now.
The weather is getting warmer, bruising is gone, drugs are reduced to minimum, my head is well healed, bold spots covered with fresh growing hair... Spring is near.

I had this amazing powerful feeling the other day. I felt totally empowered.
"I am amazing!" I thought to myself, "I've had a brain surgery! I am surviving a very serious advanced cancer! And I feel fantastic!"

Bring on the SPRING!